Saturday, March 21, 2009

Design Around This

You know that Kohler commercial where the humorless American woman pulls a faucet from her bag and says to the pretentious German architect "Design a house around this" followed by three ominous piano notes?

Well, I dare the architect to design around this -

That's the latest addition to my bedroom. I've needed a humidifier for ages but resisted it. Who wants something so plastic and utilitarian in the bedroom? But I've been attacked by a vile respiratory infection and I can resist no more. So I dragged myself from my sick bed and made the short trip to Rite Aid. I had no idea how many choices would await me. In my mind, they were all the same, all served the same function, so I bought the one on sale. Twenty bucks for the Vicks "pediatric" model and I was on my way. I figured if that model was good enough for babies, it should be good enough for me.


Not only did it not produce steam, it sounded like a small jet engine. I guess they figured that babies, being babies, can sleep through most anything. Well, I can sleep through most anything too. But it was annoying nonetheless.

However, the failure to produce steam was more than annoying. At first, because I'm generous (or dim), I thought "well, maybe it's a super fine mist and I just don't see it." Then I thought the problem was that K had filled it with distilled water instead of regular water. My clothes steamer doesn't work with distilled water so maybe it was the same situation. The next night we tried regular water and that didn't work either. So K bravely returned the steamer and shopped for a new one, and not just at Rite Aid. He had the energy to drive all over town. Apparently, Vicks has the market cornered on humidifiers so he might as well have stayed at Rite Aid. Anyway, he came home with the "Ultrasonic" model for $60 (unaware that I had just dropped $150 on prescriptions. Stupid deductible.) I guess if you want steam with your humidifier, it's going to cost you an extra $40. Anyway, the new one is quiet, produces a lot of soft, cool mist and allows me to sleep through the night without succumbing to violent bronchial spasms.

I just wish it were lovely. But what do I have to complain about? My x-rays came back. I don't have pneumonia; I don't have TB; I don't have anything more menacing than bronchitis.


Green Fairy said...

Oh, I know how you feel. I was suffering a bad chest infection last month, and dragged myself out to buy a humidifier--a horrible situation of trying to breathe, trying to stay upright, and trying to comprehend the various features of each model when all I wanted to do was collapse and go to sleep.

Eventually I settled on a Vicks model, but woke up the next morning to discover that my bedroom smelled--no, reeked--of old wood. My tiny room is filled with antique wood furniture and vintage wood trim; the humidifier pumped out way too much moisture, and made matters worse. Everything was coated with a thin veneer of moisture, and I was wheezing more than ever. It took days to air the place out.

Hope you feel better soon--bronchitis sucks.

NV said...

Wow! That doesn't sound fun at all. Hope you feel better soon.

Why S? said...

Oh Green Fairy, that sounds awful. I always worried that a humidifier would create a mold-friendly environment. But my bedroom is so, so dry, especially with having the warm floor in the adjoining bathroom.

Thanks to both for your good wishes. I'm starting to feel a little better today.