It has been increasingly difficult to maintain this blog over the last year. For the first eight months of 2012, I was overwhelmingly busy with my theater life. Other than the summer event of the siding, there was little of note to report on the house. It’s easy to understand how blogging would fall Life's in priorities. But more than anything, I think it may have been the bizarre course of the presidential election that took its toll on my will to write. The lunacy of that misbegotten group of candidates, the seemingly unending series of freak shows called ‘debates’ - drained my will to believe there was anything to write about. The ugliness, the name-calling, the bigotry and the sheer idiocy from a “party” that is not an actual Party at all left me wondering who we are and by extension who I am and so made me wonder did I want to be who we are and do I want to be who I am.
I have lately come to realize that it has become more and more difficult for me to know what is going on in the world – more difficult to discern fact from fiction or real news from propaganda. One glance over to that party that is not an actual Party tells me I am not alone in this. We may all be suffering the consequences of a failure of real information in The Information Age. It is all too exhausting. The cynicism and duplicity of the GW Bush administration made it easy to doubt our future and to lose hope in what we all thought we stood for. We could be forgiven for believing in the hope and change promised in the election of 2008. But the ignorance and lies and misinformation/disinformation coming from the Right for the past two years have nearly drained me of my ability to articulate my thoughts and impressions of the world we live in. Indeed, it’s all pretty much drained me of my will to care about the world; drained me of my interest to know about the world; nearly drained me of my will to be in the world. And then there was Newtown. And then the spectacular displays of idiocy that followed.
Aforementioned idiocy in only one of its many forms
And today the President said it out loud: "We cannot mistake absolutism for principle, or substitute spectacle for politics, or treat name-calling as reasoned debate."
and "... preserving our individual freedoms ultimately requires collective action."
While we are still in the first month of the New Year, let me embrace a fresh start. Let the President’s speech today do its job. Let me be affected by it. Of course the speech was supremely tailored rhetorically but nevertheless, it asked us all to aspire to what I hope we would all aspire to – compassion, shared responsibility, equality for ALL. Let me take on my own responsibility then in this - I will hit the snooze button on my cynicism and disinterest in all things outside myself. I will try to again enter the world and engage.
I know I cannot save the world. Maybe it is enough to let the world save me.