Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Top 5 Totally Uncool Things About My 'hood - #2 in a series

#4 - The Paucity of Parking

When I was a child, I got into my head that the ideal house has a circular driveway. Maybe the ideal house does have a circular driveway. But my house doesn’t. It does have a driveway, unlike the house next door and the house next door to the house next door. But it’s pretty much only wide enough for a gullwing – which I also don’t have.

This was the car of the day when my house was built:

No problem getting in
and out of the Model T

But unless you want to crawl in and out of the sunroof (which we also don’t have) parking in our driveway, means sleeping in the car.

K is both slender and agile. He plans to park in the driveway when the construction materials are gone. I have no such plan.

In the meantime, we hunt for parking with each return home. Sometimes we find it in front of our house. Sometimes down the street. Sometimes around the corner and sometimes down the block. Or down the next block.

We now have three vehicles. To make matters worse there’s a guy down the street with a limo company and he parks his fleet on our street.

Last Sunday, I found two stretch limos:



and two stretch Hummers taking up real estate.


The homes at that end of the street have been condemned in anticipation of the construction of a school, so for now the limos aren’t such an issue. Once construction begins, I suppose he’ll move them all closer to our house. That’ll be fun.
In the interest of good karma, I hope his business thrives so much that he can either move to a building appropriate to house his cars or that all the vehicles are constantly engaged 24/7, filled with prom partyers and quinceanera guests. If you saw the movie Quinceanera, then you know the value of the stretch Hummer to the celebrants.

If I wanted bad karma, I suppose I could check with the city about the any laws against running a limo service out of an apartment.

Even without the limos, we still have trouble parking. Sometimes it’s because it’s trash day and all the containers are out in the street and you can’t park around them.

Sometimes it’s because it’s street sweeping day and half the street is off limits.

Sometimes it’s because someone is having a party.

Sometimes it’s because of construction on a nearly street.

Sometimes it’s because filming is scheduled so a street is blocked off.

Sometimes it’s because one or more parking illiterates have planted a single car in a space that could have served two. This is the one that really gets me. This is the one that makes me want to leave nasty post-its on windshields. This is the one that makes me want to slash tires. But that would probably be really bad karma.

It's been too long since we've have a Presidential portrait. Today, we'll celebrate Warren G. Harding, one of our worst presidents of all time and the first U.S. president to ride to his inauguration in an automobile (1921).

I doubt if even he had a circular driveway.

1 comment:

techhandyman said...

We have similar problems in our city.. When we were house shopping ours was the only one with the potential for off street parking. For some of the houses near us there are twice as many houses as parking spaces so there is quite often the potential for having to walk 2 blocks to and from your own car..