It all started with the pre-natal ultrasound. I don't know about you, but I'm not thrilled to be shown an expectant mom's ultrasound. How am I supposed to react to these things?
"Wow, he's got your eyes!"
I've never seen an ultrasound that looked any different than any other ultrasound. For all we know, the whole thing's a scam. Those people who get all worked up over an allegedly fictitious moon landing could focus a little energy on the pre-natal ultrasound industry.
But the moms love to show 'em off. In my day, you had to wait until you were at least born before your mom could start boring others with your image.
Then there's the license plate holder - - as in "Happiness Is . . . . Being Taylor's Mom."
Really? Look, I know she's proud of Taylor and all, but is that really the sum total of happiness for her - being an extension of someone else? I thought we were past that.
And, do you really think I'm impressed by your bumper sticker? I'm truly happy for you that your child reads at grade level at Suchnsuch Middle School or that your child has perfect attendance or whatever it is that you're bragging about. But these stickers have become so ubiquitous that they're a bit like Special Olympics awards, aren't they? You get rewarded for just showing up. There's bound to be a bumper sticker for whatever it is your kid doesn't suck at.
Sorry. That just came out.
Don't even get me started on Lifecasting
But now, just when it didn't seem possible to reference these kids any more than we do, the ad industry has created a new breeding ground for monsters of conceit -
(and in today's irony alert - yeah, I believe every random thought I have to be so important that I must post it on the internet for the whole world to read. Funny that.)