If you haven't the time or inclination to watch the five minute video, allow me to summarize. This Hannity guy gives a little background on vampire lore followed by interviews with a couple of characters who claim to be vampires. They claim their kind come from all walks of life and live in every environment. Some of them even live in (gasp!) suburbs! And some of them dress just like you and me. Since I wear black almost exclusively, it's not big news that they dress like me. What really surprises me is that they dress like you.
Oh, and they don't always feed on blood. One of the interviewees just "feeds on energy." Must be like a vampire Atkins thing.
I discovered this story on Yahoo just before leaving work this evening. A colleague came in to say goodnight. I mentioned the story to him.
"Oh, I know a vampire," he says matter-of-factly.
"Yes. He had his teeth filed into fangs."
"Must be tough at job interviews."
"He's on a reality show now."
Then who am I to judge? He's on a show. I'm not. I spend a lot of time thinking about shows. I think about shows I want to be on. I think about shows I would want to watch. The problem must be my unnaturally natural teeth.
But I digress into self-absorption. Here's the real problem. How is this news? Let us not ponder too long how anything on FOX News is news. But let us just wonder for a moment that considering all the world faces, be it worldwide terrorism, waves of unemployment or the collapse of capitalism as we know it, FOX chooses to report on vampire poseurs.
And while we're at it, what kind of society are we when we have a vampire subculture? Can't we just leave it at armies of Trekkies holding conventions? Haven't we been sufficiently damaged by theatre geeks in bodices and puffy shirts spouting bad Shakespeare at Renaissance Pleasure Faires year after year after year? Aren't midnight showings of Rocky Horror Picture Show enough?
But maybe it speaks well of us. Maybe a country that has the luxury of middle-class subcultures of decadence can't be totally sunken in despair.
But just in case we're not talking about a group of adults fixated on an adolescent fantasy, keep the garlic close at hand and maybe a good, sharp stake at the ready.
You never know. Maybe FOX finally reported some news.